Ashes
by MissScorp
Summary: For once, the thoughts weighing heavy on the mind of General Leia Organa-Solo didn't have to do with any political decisions, battle maneuvers or finding out where Luke had exiled himself. No, they were on two very different people, her son, Ben, and a girl who simply called herself Rey. Set after The Force Awakens. *Complete*


For once, the thoughts weighing heavy on the mind of General Leia Organa-Solo didn't have to do with any of the political decisions awaiting her attention, the dozens of battle maneuvers needing her final authorization or finding out where exactly it was her brother, Luke had exiled himself so she could convince him to return and help restore peace to the galaxy.

Even her son wasn't at the forefront of her thoughts.

Not like he normally was.

Thoughts of Ben — or Kylo Ren as he now called himself — always caused her heart to ache. That pain multiplied when she learned it was Ben who caused Han's death. _How could he have done that to Han_? Her hands, folded neatly in her lap, trembled with the emotions spiraling through her. _How could he have pierced his father's flesh with his lightsaber?_

He was their son.

Their little Starbird.

He couldn't be so riddled with anger and hate that he'd willingly and knowingly murder his own father.

Could he?

Guilt folded Leia into its arms. Han wouldn't be dead if _she_ hadn't urged him to bring their son home.

 _"_ _The kid isn't gonna listen to anything I got to say to him." Han's expression was grim. "I mean, if Luke couldn't reach him, how can I?"_

 _"_ _Luke is a Jedi."_ _Her fingers curled around his arm, beseeching and encouraging at the same time._ _"You're his father. He will listen to you._ _"_

She had been wrong, however. Ben hadn't listened to his father. No, in the end, he chose to kill him.

Tears welled but did not fall.

They could never fall.

Because _she_ could never fall.

She was the leader of the Resistance. People counted on her, on her strength, on her skill as a leader.

Most didn't know she was a mother. Or that it was her own son they were fighting.

As she sat there in the quiet of her private quarters, she found herself wondering what they did or didn't do to cause everything to fall so completely apart. What more could she and Han have done to avoid what happened?

For the longest time, she blamed Ben's fall to the dark side on Luke. Had he curbed the turmoil she sensed in Ben even before he was born then her son wouldn't have succumbed to the dark side like his grandfather.

Would telling Ben the truth about Vader as soon as he could understand what being a Sith meant have prevented him from taking the same path?

It was a question Leia asked herself all the time.

Han believed Ben's fall was because there was too much of Vader in him. Leia felt part of the blame was on her. _Had I not sent him away_... she pushed aside her wayward thoughts and focused instead on the issue plaguing her.

That being a dark-haired girl who went by the name of Rey.

In general, she liked her.

She found her a capable enough pilot — did anyone expect her to think someone other than Han, Lando or Luke were the best pilots? — a decent mechanic — given how repairing and scavenging parts was how she managed to survive life on the planet of Jakku —and a fair enough fighter — given she fought against her expertly trained and battle-seasoned son — despite her lack of training and experience.

Leia could admit she felt a kinship with Rey the moment they met. They shared a connection to the Force. She chose not to follow what Luke felt was destiny.

She was a politician and felt her skills were better used in diplomatic matters than in learning how to use a lightsaber or control the strange energy that flowed through her veins.

Rey chose to follow her destiny. It was why Leia tasked her with going to find Luke. If the girl was truly meant to walk the path of a Jedi, she'd be led right to him.

However, there was something about the girl that bothered Leia. What it was she couldn't say. It wasn't like Rey had done anything _specific_ to cause this disquiet _._

No, she realized as she stared out at the emptiness of space. It wasn't anything that Rey was saying or doing. It was what everyone around her was saying and doing that was causing her such uneasiness.

She had heard the whispers, of course. She heard Rey being touted as being even stronger in the Force than Anakin Skywalker. Much as she disliked her father and everything he had done as Darth Vader, there was no denying his extensive list of achievements while he served the Galactic Republic. _Or that he was one of the most powerful Jedi ever born_.

Some even compared Rey to Jedi Masters like Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Leia found that ludicrous. Both served the Republic as Generals until the brutal, bitter end. Each was known for their great wisdom and fierce prowess in battle.

Her father had told her many stories about both Jedi Masters. There was no denying his great admiration and respect for them both. _Or that when he didn't know how to resolve a conflict that he would think about what they'd have done were they in his position._

Obi-Wan even chose to stay on Tatooine and watch over Luke to make sure no harm came to him. He even helped guide him through his journey to becoming a Jedi, sending him to Master Yoda when the time was right for further instruction and guidance.

Growing up on Alderaan, she heard stories not only about the many great male Jedi there were, but the dozens of great female Jedi, as well. Many Force-sensitive beings served the Rebel Alliance. Some were fighting now for the Resistance.

None of those women had achieved the legendary status of those who died either while leading battalions of Clone troopers during the Clone Wars or in the Great Jedi Purge that heralded the rise of the Empire.

Masters like Aayla Secura, Luminara Undulli, Adi Gallia, Siri Tachi, and Depa Billaba.

Jocasta Nu who, with her assistant, Gar preserved what information she could so that a new Jedi Order could rise from the devastation wrought by Palpatine and Vader.

Shaak Ti, who bravely faced death when Darth Vader led his attack upon the Jedi Temple.

Barriss Offee, who deserved an honorable mention because of her efforts during the Clone Wars to save the inhabitants on the planet of Felucia from being poisoned by their water supply.

Even those who left the Order, like Ashoka Tano still found a way to serve the galaxy. Tano's management of her father's intelligence division greatly aided them in defeating the Empire.

There were also women like Nomi Sunrider — a Grand Master of the Jedi Order who possessed the unique ability of battle meditation — and Satele Shan — the youngest to ever become Grand Master of the Jedi Order — whose knowledge about the dangers of the dark side made her a wise teacher.

Each one was a skilled, fierce, wise female who honed their craft and gained knowledge through years of experience. Almost all forgotten by a galaxy who now considered them relics best left as ashes in the past.

Rey would one day have that knowledge and skill. She'd have that experience and wisdom.

She just did not have those things _now_.

Leia wasn't sure she believed Rey acquired her knowledge of how to use the Force during the connection somehow forged between her and her son, Ben. It just didn't seem possible that one could acquire the knowledge and training necessary simply by accessing the memories that another force user had.

 _Even Luke had to spend years training before he achieved the level of mastery that he has now_ , she thought as she got up to slowly pace her bedchamber.

It didn't come easily to him. He had to work for it, to earn it, to nurture that connection.

As did all the other Jedi who came before him.

Was Rey extremely skilled and talented? Yes. Was she the best female to ever use a lightsaber. No. She wasn't even the strongest female to become a Jedi. Was she on the path to becoming one of the greats? Maybe.

All Leia knew was that Rey wasn't there.

Not yet.

That's what was disturbing her, she realized as she turned to exit her quarters. It wasn't Rey's lack of experience or her being talked about as if she was the greatest Jedi of all time.

It was that Rey was walking a very fine line. One her son, brother, and father all walked. Only Luke managed to overcome the lure of the dark side while Ben chose to continue his grandfather's dark legacy.

If Rey wasn't careful, if she didn't allow herself to grow and properly learn how to use the power flowing through her, if she started to believe the things people said about her, she too could fall.

Same as Anakin.

 _And Ben._

Her little Starbird.

The Jedi Killer.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello, all! Hope this finds you well!

This piece was just some crazy idea that wouldn't go away. A special thank you to ReadingBlueWolf for the little starbird idea. People should read her So, you wanna be a Jedi? if you want an adorable look at baby Ben.

Please, if you like it, favorite it. Also, feel free to comment below about whether you liked it or not. Take care, all!


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